I found out yesterday that a girl in my old ward lost her baby at 38 weeks, due to a cord accident. It was such a blow to me. I don't know why, maybe because I KNOW her, and it mirrors Cora so much.
Most days I don't think about how much I miss Cora. But tomorrow is Cora's 18 month angelversary, and so this now has made yesterday and today fairly emotionally difficult.
It's amazing how I even got myself caught up in the thought that Erin's arrival should make me "better." I always told people that one child doesn't replace another and so they shouldn't expect me to be better just because I have another baby. How hypocritical of me to think that I should be "better" now.
Erin is the light of my life, but everything she does makes me wonder what Cora would have been like. Would she still have her red curly hair, or would it have fallen out like Adrienne's did? Would it be long enough for piggies yet? She would be walking, but would she be talking? What would her favorite color be? What would she think of her baby sister?
So many thoughts, and none of them can really be answered. Not in this life.
I miss my sweet angel baby.
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1 comment:
Hey Brittanie
I was surprised you had heard, I thought about you when this happened. I know how you feel about missing your angel!(Really) I am glad I randomly found your blog. Your little Erin is adorable!! Hope you have a good day!
-Kayci
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