Some cuteness

My online mommy forum has a "mascot," a stuffed animal that we take turns with and then send it on to the next person. He is a stuffed frog named Leapers. Well, this week is Erin's week. Here are some cute ones so far:

My favorite Christmas story

A friend of mine reminded me that posting that story here like that was violation of the federal copywrite law. I TOTALLY didn't even think about it at the time. Since I believe in "obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law, I will go ahead and delete it.

Oops.

~~~~~~~~~~~



I would like to thank my Heavenly Father for the 8 1/2 months I got to be Cora's mother. I'm SO indebted to my Savior, for being born so that He could die and live again, so that we might live and have our families with us.

The view from my window

I wish the dumb light pole wasn't in the way. Why is it that it seems so much further away in a picture?

Novembering

Our friends, Ben and Adrienne, wanted to have a Halloween party, but Adrienne had to work that evening. So they decided to make up a new holiday. Novembering is the Friday after Halloween (except that Adrienne got really sick, so we had to postpone it a week). It's a party that is an excuse to wear your costume again, eat food, eat cheap leftover Halloween candy, and carve squash (NOT pumpkin...but we didn't actually get around to squash carving). So we had our Novembering last night. We decided to actually take a picture of the 3 of us together so here they are!




























A friend of mine has decided to post one thing she's grateful for every day of November on her blog. She recently lost her baby, and it struck me as familiar. Cora Rei means "heart full of gratitude." When we found out we'd lost her, that night that I was still pregnant before being induced, I promised myself that every time I thought about her, I'd think about something I'm grateful for.

During this season of gratitude I'd like to just express how grateful I am for my eternal family. You can look out our front room window and see the new Rexburg temple on the hill. It's beautiful at night when it's all lit up, and I am so grateful for what the temple means in my life. I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father who loves us each so much that He provided a way for us to have those we love with us for eternity. I can't wait for the day when I get to have ALL my children with me, instead of always feeling like something is missing.

Pictures in the park

Erin and I go on walks with 3 ladies in our ward every Tuesday and Thursday at 11am. Well, today all three of them canceled. So I decided we would go out to the park anyway. We had fun taking a bunch of pictures. Next time we do this though, I'll have to make sure that the camera batteries are charged!

5 months!!

It's been a long day. Today Erin officially turned 5 months old, and I have spent all day cleaning out the storage closet, which is now Erin's bedroom. I set up the crib, and reorganized everything (and found several things that I had been looking for since moving in!).

I just put her to bed, and guess what...she didn't cry. She seemed to take right to the crib (which has got to be more comfortable than that cramped bassinet!)

I'm a little sad that she won't be so close to me anymore. My teeny weeny baby has gotten so big! I suppose it's true what they say: they grow so fast!

Halloween Night

We didn't have a very eventful Halloween night. There's a large ballroom in our building on our floor, and since nobody was using it, we decided to have a friend bring over his projector and we watched a movie on the wall, and ate food, and had fun. Aunt Nyssa brought over her cat ears, and so of course Erin ended up with them. I finally got the pictures, so here they are!

Good morning Erin, it's Tuesday

So, a June-baby forum that I'm on is doing a "yearbook" photo contest. This week is "prettiest eyes," so I decided to have fun with the camera this morning. I got several great pictures. The one with the flash wasn't so great, but it shows the color well, so I included it.

She likes giraffes

This is the giraffe that Grandpa Cannady brought from Michigan:

Right now, I'm holding a very asleep baby in my lap, pondering what I did to be so lucky to have her. Do all parents feel like this? One of my neighbors and I randomly ended up at the laundromat at the same time, and she has a baby boy (Zach) who is almost 3 months younger than Erin, and so we were comparing babies.

I love Chelsea, I do, and Zach is a sweetie, but Erin is so much cuter.

I know all mothers think that their babies are the cutest, but I was at Walmart today and I had 3 random strangers all stop to tell me just how cute she is. I'm not sure what I did to be that lucky. And she really is just so sweet, even though she's a monster right now. She's not as fussy as some babies normally are, and she's teething.

I hope I'm the mother that Heavenly Father wants for her.

Yummy green beans!

So, she decided she didn't like peas all that much. But she LOVES green beans. She was very excited about eating them tonight. Can you tell? She ended up getting them in her ears and on her eyelid!

Cora's 18-month angelversary

Random thoughts

I found out yesterday that a girl in my old ward lost her baby at 38 weeks, due to a cord accident. It was such a blow to me. I don't know why, maybe because I KNOW her, and it mirrors Cora so much.

Most days I don't think about how much I miss Cora. But tomorrow is Cora's 18 month angelversary, and so this now has made yesterday and today fairly emotionally difficult.

It's amazing how I even got myself caught up in the thought that Erin's arrival should make me "better." I always told people that one child doesn't replace another and so they shouldn't expect me to be better just because I have another baby. How hypocritical of me to think that I should be "better" now.

Erin is the light of my life, but everything she does makes me wonder what Cora would have been like. Would she still have her red curly hair, or would it have fallen out like Adrienne's did? Would it be long enough for piggies yet? She would be walking, but would she be talking? What would her favorite color be? What would she think of her baby sister?

So many thoughts, and none of them can really be answered. Not in this life.


I miss my sweet angel baby.